I haven't written anything in a while so please bare with me on this post. I get the feeling that this will be a recurring plea in all of the posts to come.
The third week of university has been nothing short of stress. The deluge of assignments started and my anxiety peaked to an all time high while sleep patterns dropped to the lowest of lows. However, I got through it and am now on board (although nearly at the point of slipping off again) with lectures. I need to remind myself that assignments and tests and all the events that'll contribute to a numerical rating of myself at the end of December have nothing to do with my ability (but if I get over 90% then oh hell I'm going to rejoice!) but everything to do with the business model behind universities.
I procrastinated this morning by reading the marking schedule for law (this isn't the first time) and was still at shock over the marking scheme. Every mark is accorded to a predetermined scale. How are we to feel that all our efforts will count when there is an external force being applied? Only 3% from 800+ people will be rewarded a mark over 90%. I used the calculator on my iPhone because it will always be a smart phone even when I feel nothing but stupid, and found that only 24 people will get an A+. Do you know how many students are aiming for an A+? Probably 50, and that's me underestimating since I'm sure, judging by the highlighted pages flipping in unison to the lecturer's slide, that there are more hopeful students. That's 50 people all working to get an A+, 50 people whose work may tick all the criteria necessary for an A+, yet only 24 will be rewarded their hard earned grade. How did universities evolve from a place that values intellectual conduct to an arena where highly stressed students compete to beat the scale? To quote something from my law book, a natural law theorist said that "an unjust law is not a law". Well, an unjust system is still a system except that it also happens to be corrupt.
That's my standpoint on grades and I know that I'm just preparing myself for the worst and trying to cushion the blow, but I just need to remember that my worth cannot be measured.
